Never under any circumstances shake Richard Stallman’s icky hands, this is why

The president of the Free Software Foundation eats a toenail on youtube. Richard Stallman puts his foot into his mouth, literally toe jammed it in there! Seriously, it’s disgusting but he did it. Ick.

So know we know the truth: The Uncouth Hippie Icky Richard Stallman, the Publicly Rude Slob-Icky Poster Child of Open Source.

The worst begins at ~2:10 into the video, but watch the whole thing. Shivers. Have a bucket ready in case you need to up chuck.

Get a bathroom dude. Wash your hands with soap for ten minutes Richard.

Now we know NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES to shake Richard Stallman’s hands as we know that he doesn’t even care where he puts them.

NEVER NEVER EVER take your shoes off in public again Richard, it’s just too disgusting for people to behold.

Tasty toe jam there Richard? Ick dude, get some manners Richard Stallman. Ok this is just too much to handle.

If you can’t resist eating your toe jam, please go back to your hotel room and do it there and then wash your hands…. then come back and do the rest of your talk. Announce it as a toe jam break.

Ick, self foot cannibalism, I think I’m going to puke as I recall meeting Richard Stallman twice and shaking his hands both times. Were is the bucket?

This article is meant to publicly shame Richard Stallman so that he changes his disgusting public behavior in the following ways: (1) Never Eat Toe Jam in Public (or in private for that matter); (2) Never take your shoes off at a public event even if it’s at the beach Richard; (3) Shave off your beard; (4) Clean up your act, you’re a public figure dude so begin to act like it actually matters. Failing that we’ll accept your current behavior as your statement of resignation as the poster child of the FSF and Open Source. Please let free software be free of such disgusting behavior or free of you. Choose.

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Why to avoid the GPL.